I will keep doing MrotPI at least till the end of Volume 6, even though no one offered words of adoration to keep me going :P but since I now have a full time job, and papers to grade, it may or may not be on time. So phbhbhbtt
RESULTS OF LAST MONTH'S POLL:
Monopoly is the favorite classic game. OBVIOUSLY.
Music Spotlight:
Marketa Irglova –
Falling in love with this classical style artist. You'll love the song I sent you!
Pickings of the Brain
(otherwise known as random thoughts)
5. Tell him you’ve got another pizza delivery on the other line and you’re buying from the one who offers the lowest price.
6. Just give him your address and say “Surprise me”. Then hang up.
*RANDOM FACTS*
In Tennessee, it is illegal shoot any game other than whales from a moving automobile.
A group of kangaroos is called a mob
Armadillos have four babies at a time, always all the same sex. They are perfect quadruplets, the fertilized cell split into quarters, resulting in four identical armadillos.
*DEEP THOUGHTS*
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
**JOKE OF THE MONTH **
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,
" I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at
60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be
silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise
control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at
his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut
for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful
your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal
radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says
through clenched teeth, "Dangit, woman, can't you keep your
mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not
wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on,
but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my
license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't
have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when
you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the
driver turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT
UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your
husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
I love this part.....
"Only when he's been drinking."
People of Wal-mart
10 Things 90s Kids Will Have To Explain To Their Children
1. Topanga was at some point in human history considered not only a legitimate first name for a human being, but the kind of name that would inspire in malleable teenage boys a life-long infatuation. Topanga, in our day, was leading lady name-material. Topanga (pronounced Tah-payne-ga, for those who will have only ever seen in it written down) is the name of the quintessential girl-next-door who will live, along with Feeney, in our hearts forever.
2. At some point, we carried around little plastic eggs with tiny screens on them — in these screens lived our hearts, our pets, our very own Tamagotchi. We loved them, we listened to their tiny electronic screams of malnourishment, and we occasionally forgot to pick up their poop for long enough that they died a tortured, poop-filled death. They were perhaps our first foray into the life-consuming world of electronics and self-absorption, later to be fully manifested by Facebook.
3. The black Power Ranger was black and the yellow Power Ranger was Asian because…we were so completely ahead of our time and beyond the capacity to even think in terms of something as inconsequential as race that… uh… I don’t know. Casting directors were racist in the nineties.
4. Long before he was spending his days foisting his mediocre children on us, Will Smith was actually the perfect human specimen. He also undoubtedly holds some world record for saving the world the most times while simultaneously delivering flawless catchphrases and giving cool guy nods to the camera. The Men In Black rap song, at the time, was created and received by the public without the slightest trace of irony. Really. He was that good.
5. In some inevitable shift of the time-space continuum in which James Cameron continues to rob humanity of all that is good and sacred in this world, Fern Gully will be known as that movie that ripped off Avatar. It will be up to us to crusade for what is right. It is up to us to explain that Fern Gully was not only a predecessor to Avatar, but far better, in that it contained both Tim Curry as a singing pile of molasses and Robin Williams rapping about animal testing in the pharmaceutical industry. (As a side note, if you have not recently listened to the full lyrics of the “Batty Rap,” I recommend you do, as they are horrifying.)
6. A neighborhood boy who completely disregards your family and puts a ladder directly under the teenage girl’s window to climb up at his discretion is not only acceptable, it’s charming. It’s the kind of stuff that would make said family take the ladder boy under their wing and into their heart. The nineties were a simpler time, one where we didn’t have to worry about things like breaking and entering. Clarissa today would have steel bars on the inside of her window and her father would continually remind her that the next-door boy with his ladder and his touchy hands have no place in his household.
7. Though on the surface, they are the exact same thing in every conceivable way, whether you liked The Backstreet Boys or N*SYNC said more about your character than all of the terrible macaroni art you could ever make for your child psychologist. Essentially, liking *NSYNC meant you liked Justin Timberlake, as he was clearly the Seabiscuit in that race from the get-go. You even liked him with his terrible, icy-blond mini-fro. Liking the Backstreet Boys gave you a bit more of a cultured palate, as there was no clear Diana in those Supremes. Nick was kind of the wholesome, if northern-Florida-redneck safe choice (save for his humiliating younger brother, Aaron). Brian was the shy, sensitive type. AJ was the hottt, dangerous meth addict. Kevin Richardson was mute with sexy, sculpted facial hair. No one liked Howie. Choosing between the two groups was like choosing between two beloved children, but once that line was crossed–there was no going back.
8. “I wanna really really really wanna zig a zig ahh,” has a meaning, and all true nineties kids know it, but we must never share it. Like the Illuminati, it must remain between us, the keyholders. With great power comes great responsibility.
9. Lisa Frank is not the name of a woman, it is the name of a movement, a culture, a way of living. It is a theory, a concept, a belief in something greater than yourself. It is the belief that all girls are entitled to dolphins covered with rainbows, jewel-encrusted frogs, and unicorns in acid-trip colors hugging each other. It is the ideology that no notebook is complete until it literally hurts your eyes to look at from so much color saturation. It is the hope that no school supply, no matter how insignificant, will be left un-bedazzled. It is the knowledge that your eraser cap, and that of your granddaughter’s, and her granddaughter’s after her, will not be some boring little nub–it will be a diamond covered with butterflies in a rainbow of colors. It is the dream of a better tomorrow.
10. Incredibly depressing women in Indiana covered in cats and glass figurines they buy at The Hallmark Store used to troll the web 1.0 to invest thousands of dollars in tiny stuffed animals filled with plastic beans. That happened. Beanie Babies were not just significant, they were the first example most of us had of envy, greed, and wrath. If someone messed up that little heart-shaped Ty tag, so help you God, that was the end of whatever contact you had with that monster of a human being. That tag-less Beanie Baby was now trash, and you had to deal with the consequence. It was at that moment, that de-valued Beanie Baby moment, that most of us accepted the truth… we’ll never have nice things.
Food for Thought
We recently went to our special day assembly. What a treat! We had a Bethel speaker who was originally from South Africa, so the accent caught your attention straight away.
I have to say the concluding talk that he gave hit the spot for me. It was about how important it is for us to encourage one another in these times, and also how to encourage one another. I know from experience that some people's way of encouraging you isn't really the best way. Since we're all imperfect, sometimes we say things the wrong way, even though we mean well.
One of the main things that we need to do to encourage someone is of course, prayer. Never underestimate the power of prayer. Whether we pray for someone, or with someone, prayer can be a strengthening aid, for both parties.
Another thing, is to listen. We need to be slow about speaking, swift about hearing. If someone trusts us enough to confide in us, we should let them. That means don't interrupt, don't impose your opinion, don't criticize or belittle their feelings. Just listen. If they ask our advice, and we can offer personal experience, empathy, then do so. Have some comforting scriptures in mind, but don't batter them with the Bible. If all we do is point out what we think they're doing wrong, what they need to do, this that and the other thing, we're going to push them away. Listen, pray, and be there for them.
Cause here's the thing, that I have always understood, have always thought was common sense. And when I heard the brother giving this talk, I hoped that everyone else was listening too, because it seems like in our imperfection, not everyone can understand this simple fact:
You cannot understand something you have not experienced.
If you have never been depressed, you can't understand what it feels like to not want to get out of bed, to not have the energy or want to do anything, even things you used to enjoy. To not have the desire to be around people at the meetings or anywhere else, to go in the ministry, to study or do anything. If you've never been depressed, you don't understand.
If you've never had anxiety problems, you will not understand what it feels like to suffocate in a crowd of people, to have heart palpitations because you can't get out, to be so worked up about going to a store, or out in service, that it physically makes you sick.
If you've never lost someone in death, someone that you're really close to, you will not understand what it feels like to have part of yourself die, to feel afraid to draw close to anyone for fear of losing them, and to feel a never-fading sense of loss, even though you know you will see them again some day.
The list can go on. I just wrote about things that I struggle with. No doubt you can add your own.
The point is, being imperfect, people have the tendency to judge or fear what they don't understand. Who are we to judge someone, or tell someone they aren't doing enough? Who are we to compare someone else's service to our own?
Do we want to encourage our brothers and sisters? Definitely! But reminding them of their limitations is not the way to do it, nor is criticizing what we perceive to be a mistake or lack of activity. We all have different circumstances. We all have different struggles. And often, they go unnoticed, because we don't want to talk about it, or don't want to see it. There are people who have become experts at painting on a smile and hiding emotions. Sometimes we don't know if someone is going through something. So we can always pray for Jehovah to strengthen people who are struggling, and we can pray that he use us to encourage those people. And if we are the one struggling, we need to find someone we can confide in.
And these problems aren't limited to the elderly or middle-aged. Just because someone is young doesn't mean they aren't struggling. Depression, anxiety, health problems, afflict young and old. Our circumstances vary. What we can do varies. Even our personal best varies. Think about the widow. All she had was two coins to give, but that was her BEST, and Jesus valued it more than all the surplus the others gave. It doesn't matter whether we are old or young, have problems or don't, only we and Jehovah knows our personal best, whether it be an hour in service a month or seventy. Who are we to judge someone, just because outward appearances don't betray a problem or a struggle?
And this is what people, from my observations, don't seem to understand. Just because a person is not in a wheelchair or on crutches doesn't mean they don't have limitations. I've seen it my whole life, people judging or criticizing others because they don't understand, and it's something I've never understood. This is part of my imperfection, dealing with the imperfection of others. And there my personal rant is over.
The point is, if Jehovah sees fit to inform and encourage us to be understanding and encouraging towards one another, then we should listen and apply it, and I guess this is part of my way to do that.
So don't judge, don't criticize, don't belittle someone's problems or limitations. Just be there, be a friend. Pray. Listen.
“And let us consider one another to incite to love and fine works, not forsaking the gathering of ourselves together, as some have the custom, but encouraging one another, and all the more so as YOU behold the day drawing near.”
From Contributing Writers
Today, I got a phone call from a co-worker. I answered 'Joe's Morgue and Deli, where you stab 'em, we slab 'em, Headcheese is our 2 for 1 special!' He had me on speakerphone with our supervisor. They started laughing so hard, my boss fell out of his chair. I win. MLIA
Today I saw the cutest little baby. When I was holding him I said to the mom "Awe, Hes so cute." she replied- "Thanks. Made it myself." Best answer by far. MLIA
Yesterday, my biology professor told us that the next class we'd be watching the "miracle of life" video. I decided that this was something I could definitely live without seeing, and there's 300 people in the class, so I skipped. Later, I found out my professor gave cupcakes to the 15 people that actually showed up and showed star wars that day. Guess what we watched today when everyone was there? Well played professor. MLIA.
Today, I was watching a reality-show where people use private investigators to try to catch their significant others having an affair. During one scene a woman saw her boyfriend skinny-dipping in a pond with another girl. They did not blur out the girl's face, but they did blur the faces of the ducks swimming in the water. I haven't laughed this hard in years. MLIA.
Today, my teacher finally handed out our biology textbooks. Usually the first thing everyone does is open up their books and see who used them last year. While everyone else was squealing over which cute senior boy's books they got, I opened mine. I have Jesus's Biology book. I win. MLIA.
I got to watch some punk kid in handcuffs getting pulled out of a cop car, try to run off. The cop just stuck out his foot and he fell flat on his face. IMMD
Today, I was sitting in class when my teacher asked one of my friends why he had been staring out the window for the past few minutes. Turns out a little kid had been running around the playground with no pants on singing the batman theme song. We were all (teacher included) annoyed that he hadn't told us sooner. MLIA
Today, in spanish we were having a fairly large unit test. As I was taking it, I forgot how to say "wake up" and so I put my head down pretending to fall asleep. Sure enough my teacher yelled at me saying "Despierta!". Booyah. MLIA. Today, I was alone and listening to some music on iTunes while using the computer. The Backstreet Boys came on and I started belting out the lyrics. Then the door opened and several of my brother's friends came up from the basement, singing along and trying to dance like a boy band. I'll be hanging out with my brother more now. MLIA
Today, I went in for knee surgery. While they were wheeling in my hospital bed, I saw 6 assistants and the surgeon singing the power rangers theme song while in a huddle. I was no longer worried about anything. MLIA
Last week in my Law class, we had to write as much as we could on any subject of our choosing, in 10 minutes. Most people wrote about their weekend, or what they did on their summer holiday. One guy wrote about socks. Best 300 words, ever. MLIA.
Today I was seeing my long distance girlfriend for the first time after I left for college. I was nervous when I saw her until I watched her get out of her car, open the back door, and pull out the Star Wars lunchbox she used as a purse. I know now why I fell in love with her. MLIA
One Halloween I was dared to say trick o' treat with and Aussie accent. I'm never one to back down from a dare so I went for it. Walked to the next house, door opened and I said trick o' treat. The guy at the door's eyes widened and without missing a beat he replied "Oi! Your from Australia too mate?" We proceeded to have a 10 minute conversation. He really was from Australia and I had no idea what he was saying but I did get extra candy. I win. MLIA
Today my friend told me that it's illegal to have a puppet show in an apartment window in NYC. She lives in NYC. I'm going over to her house next weekend. I think it's clear what we will be doing. MLIA
Today, I was singing in my room. I noticed birds were flying around a tree and tweeting happily through my open window. This made me wonder if I'm secretly a Disney princess. That thought disturbed me a little, as I'm a guy. MLIA
Poetry for the Month of March
Our Great God, Jehovah
There is a friend greater than all,
powerful, wise, and true.
There to help you through good and bad,
to guide and comfort you.
Never must you be afraid
or feel that you’re alone.
When you’re surrounded by his people,
you know you have a home.
You can find treasure in his word,
guidance, comfort, hope.
Reading of faithful examples of old
teach you how with problems to cope.
He gives us the hope
of everlasting life
on a beautiful paradise earth,
free of problems and strife.
Our loving God, Jehovah,
oh where would we be without him?
Surely like a ship on the seas,
tossed by the waves and wind.
So therefore let us praise him
to times indefinite, everlasting,
and be ever loyal and true,
in his boundless love rejoicing.
© Ashlee Nix 2008
Quotes of the Month
“Because that's what people do. They leap,
and hope to God they can fly. Because
otherwise, you just drop like a rock wondering
the whole way down. ‘Why did I jump?’ But here I am, falling, and the only one
who can make me feel like I can fly...is you.”
-Hitch
“Pictures can speak the unspoken.”
-unknown
I wonder how many people never get the one they want, but end up with the one they’re supposed to have.
-Fried Green Tomatoes
- “My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter. For those of you that don't know, Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit that hides colored eggs.”
- -Adam Ferrara
“Expect anything from anyone: The devil was once an angel.”
Disclaimer:
This site (MRotPI) is a compilation of my own thoughts and others, and may use quotes, pictures, jokes, and news items from various sources. i do not claim credit for any of the pictures, quotes, or other items on this page that are not of my own design, and no copyright infringement is intended